The ‘Thriller’ in Wasilla

It took Sarah Palin to knock the freshly-crowned King of Pop off the front pages. As it turns out, the Queen of Conservativism is as confounding as the King of Pop.

Actually, Palin should skip the talk show route and go directly into comedy. If she could find a good cigar-toting straight man, she’d give Gracie Allen a run for her money. Two minutes into her press conference on abandoning the Alaskan governorship, my head was spinning cartoon-style. It was the most rambling speech in recent memory. Actually, makes a perfect matched set with Miss South Carolina Teen USA’s inane competition comments from 2007.

For a moment, I thought it was me, until I got weigh-in from a few media mavens. NBC’s Andrea Mitchell, looking more made-over than ever, featured former McCain/Palin campaign advisor Mark McKinnon:

Watching Sara Palin is sort of like watching a moose on roller skates. It’s never particularly graceful, but it’s always riveting.

But no one ever top’s Maureen Dowd on weigh-in:

Sarah Palin showed on Friday that in one respect at least, she is qualified to be president.

Caribou Barbie is one nutty puppy.

Usually we don’t find that exquisite battiness in our leaders until they’ve been battered by sordid scandals like Watergate (Nixon), gnawing problems like Vietnam (L.B.J.), or scary threats like biological terrorism (Cheney).

She continued:

As Alaskans settled in to enjoy holiday salmon bakes and the post-solstice thaw, their governor had a solipsistic meltdown so strange it made Sparky Sanford look like a model of stability.

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Jacko and the Media: Turn, Turn, Turn

All right, enough already with the Michael Jackson.

Talk about a polarizing event. What a strange disconnect between the idolaters and the realists.

First we have the Jackson fans who have, apparently, come out of the closet. During his controversial life, Michael supplicants kept relatively quiet, sheepish in their devotion. His Facebook page until recently had a timid 80,000 fans. Now, it has topped 6 million and counting.

All this has been enabled by the media; the same media, BTW, that played up Jacko as wacko. Now, the Matt Lauers question Jackson contacts in hushed tones as if the moonwalker were lying in state in the next room. Talk about hypocrisy. Everyone in the biz is on it. Nancy Grace — who claims to carry the torch for crime victims, especially children — is all over this like seagulls on a garbage scow. Even the Gray Lady is falling all over herself, begging for pictures from memorial-goers (after all, the desperate gal can’t even afford texting for her reporters).

The sheer breath of the coverage has forced realists into the closet. So the weird world of MJ has been turned upside down, with reasonable folk afraid to open their mouths about Jackson’s dark side for fear of being labeled a spoiler, a pop heretic or worse.

For now, it’s left to Republicans, like New York Congressman Peter King, whose scathing comments on video surfaced on YouTube Monday. Meanwhile, today WFAN morning sports jock Craig Carton weighed in with a balanced review. He said he was the biggest Michael Jackson fan, but pointed out “the man’s a pedophile.” A Jackson fan called in to take Carton to task. Turns out she was a grade-school teacher, and she didn’t know what to say when Carton asked her if she’d let her young male students spend an overnight in the King’s Neverland bed.

Together, the immense fan-mania and the intense media coverage have created one of the greatest collective denials in human history.

Soon the din will settle down to the point where reasonable voices can emerge. And make no mistake, the now hush-toned media will turn on Jackson yet again in the coming months as they dig for a 60th-day story angle. Can’t you hear the Today Show promos of August asking us to question the ‘man in mirror’ once again: “Coming next: Michael Jackson, the reigning King of Pop, but was he a pedophile?”
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